My son in law buried her near the house so I can visit her grave. I know she is no longer in pain now, but I do miss her. I was more relieved that she is no longer suffering. I am crying as I write this, but this is really the first time I've had to stop and think about her today. After I took her to the vet, she seemed better, but the next day she couldn't even stand up properly and scooted on the floor mostly. I knew then that she was going to leave me.
I was supposed to take her back to the vet the next day, but I knew it was of no use when I saw how she had given up, she just didn't have the will to live any longer. The hardest part was having to let her stay confined for her own protection. The dogs would have sensed her weakness and possibly attacked her. Yesterday I let her out for awhile and she managed to crawl into her litter box, but then couldn't get back out. I had to take the top off and lift her back out, she had even started having seizures this last week. I figured the best thing for her was to just let her alone so she could go to the bridge.
The vet said she had horrible plaque on her teeth and that was most likely the source of her infection. If I had thought about it more clearly a few weeks ago, I might have had time to help her more. They could have cleaned her teeth and possibly saved her, but that is only speculation.
She has lived a full and loved life, except for the last few days when she was suffering so. I even caught my self wishing she could just give up and be at peace. I told her often the last few days how very sorry I was that I had been so distracted with other things that I hadn't noticed her problem. I also told her often how very much I loved her and that I would miss her, but it was best that she go on without me at least for now.
